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I Hate Stefan DeSeve

by David Runyon, Staff Writer

29th December 2008

I hate Stefan DeSeve. I have always hated Stefan DeSeve. Since I first acquired a copy shortly after the release of Alternate Universe, I have loathed Stefan DeSeve. How much more useless could a personnel be? As a Romulan, he’s a Civilian with Treachery and Greed. Do the Romulans need more Treachery, especially with Strength of 5? Probably not. As a Federation citizen, he’s a Civilian Officer with Treachery. While the Federation occasionally needs Treachery, there are much better sources for it (like Admiral Cartwright or even Ro Laren if you MUST use a rare). He can't even open a Maglock! So in honor of one of the dorkiest looking personnel in the game, I present this Top Ten list:

Top Ten Statements Why Stefan DeSeve Is Useless or Ways He Won’t Die
  1. How many cards refer to Federation members of Spock’s Romulan underground?
  2. Thought Fire won't roast him.
  3. He won’t contribute anything to a single Neutral Zone mission except Treachery to Covert Installation.
  4. He won’t cease to exist if the timeline is disrupted in 2063.
  5. Steve doesn’t get an Integrity bonus from fellow undergrounder D’Tan.
  6. He can’t manage to stun most Borg drones.
  7. He won’t die to Firestorm (as a Romulan).
  8. No matter what he does, he’s stuck with Treachery (unlike Major Rakal).
  9. The Weak Will Perish won’t get him.
  10. Neither will Hunter Gangs.

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