Tyler Fultz (DJstormtrooper) Tournament Report - 2E Standard - Worlds Day Two 2010-10-03 - 09:00 AM Freaky Deaky (Remix) Introduction I, The One Who is Neither German nor American, have composed my epic saga of Worlds 2010 that will live throughout the ages! Upon the first day the many nations assembled and greeted on another in friendship. And they said to one another “Let us find the greatest Trek player in all the universe!” And so they began. At first, they tried a strange format- and they called it Standard Orbit- and it was Madness. The men played with other men's decks and then switched and played with still more men's decks until it was unsure who had lain with whose decks and why this all had transpired. Then the Americans came and were greeted with great joy and allowed to play with the European’s decks and the Europeans with there’s. And they all felt shame, for they knew not how to give justice to the decks of other men. In the end, they declared the One Who is Neither German nor American to be the victor for he alone had known the secret of the Shawn Hawkins. In the Afternoon began the tournament of the Men of the Old Ways. These men practiced a strange art which the men of the East side of the room could not understand. They spoke a strange southern tongue that only the Germans could hear. Nevertheless, One Who is Neither German nor American came to judge them. Together they played in their strange way. Many of them said “Behold the Power of the Tribble!” while others said “Behold the Power of my Time Location!” while still more said “What be this Nemesis Icon?” And there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth from the One Who is Neither German nor American for he knew not how to answer this question. He consulted his codex and declared to them, “Be they present with each other at the end of a player’s turn, one must die!” They played for many days and nights, and still many of the games were not finished. Finally, the men of Berlin came together for the final game and Rheinlander said, “Thou shalt obey my Docking Procedures!” and was victorious. He dedicated his victory to the gods of the Delta Quadrant saying, “Oh, great Vidiians, you are the most formidable in all the heavens!” While the Men of the Old Ways competed at feats of strength, the lovers of beer gathered for their Great Contest. And it was Madness. The Americans fell from their chairs- the Danish could not hold all that their stomachs had consumed and brought it back upon the Earth. The British asked strange questions. “If a man should lie with another man during his game, shall he be disqualified?” The One Who is Neither German nor American told them that this was permissible as long it should not affect game play. The drunkards grew louder and became shameful in their speech. Finally, Vorwerk declared to them, “All are disqualified- except Johnannes.” And he was declared the victor, though he knew not why. Upon the next morning, they gathered again. And a great gathering it was! The largest that all could remember! In the great assembly, John Corbett stood erect and declared, “All shalt kneel before the might of America!” In this manner the Great Contest began. The Damaged Starfleet did not appear thus and there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth from those who had no known its power. The One Who is Neither German nor American scribed for all to see that, “Archer is God, and praise be upon his prophet Sean Hawkins, blessed be his name.” The others saw and knew the truth of it. The Czechs held the power of the Legacy and the others feared it for they could do naught but be stopped. In the end, it was they who took the favored position for the coming day. Round 1 Julius Melhardt FW (0) The second day the best among them gathered to determine who would be their Champion. Again John Corbett declared to them, “All shalt kneel before the might of America!” And thus they began. The Neil and The Vlad immediately took to their contest and fought not once, not twice, but three times. And in the third game was tragedy. Neil declared victory, though he had it naught, and Vlad conceded, though he had not lost. Panic overtook all. The judges sweated and cursed and knew not how to deal with events. Finally, after much deliberation, James came to them and said “Play a fourth game and you might have justice.” But Vlad could not do this and accepted defeat. And there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth among the Czechs, for they had lost their brother. Round 2 Neil Timmons FW (0) In the second round, The One Who is Neither German nor American faced The Neil and their great contest began. Upon seeing Terok Nor, Neil asked, “What arcane magic is this?” And when he saw the power of the magic, he despaired. Round 3 John Corbett FW (0) The One Who is Neither German nor American claimed victory and advanced to the semifinals and was proud to see his Manhattan Project brothers advancing with him. He said, “Come, brothers, let us be the greatest of champions!” But John Corbett could not countenance this. He stood between The One Who is Neither German nor American and victory. But, he too did not know the power of Terok Nor’s magic, and when he saw it, he cursed and spat and used Brad’s name in vain. He claimed that there was no contest and accepted defeat. Round 4 Tobias Rausmann FL (0) Thus The One Who is Neither German nor American faced Tobias. The first of their games was the closest of games with neither admitting defeat until the bitter end when The One Who is Neither German nor American succumbed to Tobias’ Admiral. In their second game The One Who is Neither German nor American knew defeat quickly for Tobias held the power of the Grav Plating. Thus Tobias was declared the greatest Trek player in all the Universe! And the brothers of the Manhattan project were joyous and celebrated their victory.